Uh-Oh!

Elliptical machine with a heart-rate reading of "Chew Two Aspirin"
What does this Heart-rate reading MEAN?!?!

I bought an elliptical machine a few hundred years ago. So far, it has been doing a fantastic job as a clothes hanger. Yesterday, I finally worked up the motivation to try it out. It’s a pretty cool machine; it shows distance travelled, calories burned, and how fast you are going. It also has a heart-rate monitor, but I don’t understand this reading that it gave me…does anyone know what is means?