Dear Self,

Although it is noble of you to try and diffuse a potential road-rage situation with your charm and wittiness, it is not at all helpful to refer to the Parcel-Delivery Driver involved as “The King Of Queens”.

It should be of no surprise to you that said driver went absolutely bananas afterward. Not everybody shares your sense of humour. I thought you knew this.

Please do try to behave yourself in future.

Love,

Bakker