Dear Everyone Else Shopping At Wal-Mart The Other Day,
I apologize for my outburst. I know that it was vulgar, but I really didn’t say it on purpose, it just sort of popped out of my mouth before I even realized what was happening; you see, I have never tried on reading glasses before, and I was so taken aback. I couldn’t help that “HOLY $H!T HON, LOOK HOW BIG THE TEXT ON MY PHONE IS!!” escaped my lips. Believe me, Mrs. Bake was NOT impressed! Despite the fact that she quickly walked out of the store pretending not to know me, she sure knew me when I got in the car, boy did she give me an earful! Sorry if I upset anyone.
P.S. I’m pretty sure that I was not the reason that baby started crying…he looked like he was having a bad day before I even got there.