Dear Grocery Store, If you are going to charge me 5 cents for each plastic shopping bag, how about making them a little stronger, and more durable? If I’m paying you, I would expect the bag to carry more than 2 pounds without breaking, and it would be good if they weren’t usually full of …
Author: Bakker
You Did It For Spiderman!!!
Dear Elusive Spider In My House, If you must keep biting me, can you at least pass some Spider Super Powers on to me please? Thanks, Bakker
Sorry!… I Just Couldn’t Help Myself!
Dear Random Stranger That Parked His Identical Mini-van Next To Mine, Your remote key-fob wasn’t really controlling both of our vehicles at the same time, I was standing a few cars over with my remote pushing the same buttons as you were pushing on yours. I have to tell you, it was the most fun …
This Mouth Of Mine Sometimes…
Dear Everyone Else Shopping At Wal-Mart The Other Day, I apologize for my outburst. I know that it was vulgar, but I really didn’t say it on purpose, it just sort of popped out of my mouth before I even realized what was happening; you see, I have never tried on reading glasses before, …
Dear Mechanic
Dear Owner Of The Mechanic’s Shop, I don’t really have a photographic memory. When you were filling out my invoice, and asked if I knew my cars’s mileage, the only reason that I knew it off of the top of my head like that was that I had just read it out to your technician …
Wintercation… Stay As Long As You Like!!
Dear Winter, I hope you are enjoying your trip out west. I am sure that all of those provinces between Saskatchewan and B.C. are REALLY happy to have you. In fact, I’m pretty sure that they would like you to stay. We held a big meeting out here, and have agreed that its okay with us if you would like …
Technology With A sense Of Humour… Great :(
Dear Voice-To-Text, Oh Boy, you sure are a playful one aren’t you! I was trying to give a (new!) co-worker a traffic tip the other day when I dictated; “Bayview looks like crap today…try Markham up next time maybe…looks a lot better!” Thanks for changing it to: “Babes, you looks like crap today…try make-up next …
Some Other Time, Maybe?
Dear Dogs, I know that you are passionate about your art, and as such, our hardwood floors must be difficult to resist. But please, can you stop practicing your tap-dancing in the middle of the night?… some of us are trying to sleep. Thanks!! Love, Bakker
Finish What You Started
Dear Bombardier, Just heard that you got an order for 45 new jets AND your are cutting 7000 jobs… Any chance you could finish building our streetcars first? Love, Toronto #WeAlreadyPaidYouFFS
And I Eat With That Thing!
Dear Mouth, In the future, please let Brain catch-up, and assess your comments before you make them. Thanks! Love, Bakker