Dear Mouth,

In the future, please let Brain catch-up, and assess your comments before you make them. Thanks!

Love,
Bakker

Dear Random Stranger That Parked His Identical Mini-van Next To Mine,

Your remote key-fob wasn’t really controlling both of our vehicles at the same time, I was standing a few cars over with my remote pushing the same buttons as you were pushing on yours. I have to tell you, it was the most fun that I have had for a while. The best part was when you brought your wife over to show her and I stopped. She will never believe you.

Thanks for the entertainment!

Love,

Bakker

Dear Elusive Spider In My House,

If you must keep biting me, can you at least pass some Spider Super Powers on to me please?

Thanks!

Love,
Bakker

Hey!… Thanks for checking out Bakker.ca…. We are under renovation right now…please check back soon; Its gonna be AWESOME!!!!

There’s been some stir in the media lately after three young women riding their bicycles on a lonely road, in the dark, while topless, were pulled over by a police officer, and told that they had to put their shirts back on….inorite! (sorry if you are not hip to inorite… as mr. auto correct here seems not to be)

In fact, the ladies did not have to put their shirts back on, as it is perfectly legal for a woman to go topless in Ontario, and has been for some time. It’s just that the cop didn’t know. It’s not his fault, he was probably about 10 years old when women won the right to be bare-breasted in public around here, and the battle of the boob was nowhere near his young radar. So as he grew to be a cop, he enforced the law based on the societal principle he was raised with; boobs are taboo, and should be covered -up in public. Hence, it is important to bring awareness to the right to bear breast to that officer, and the many like him who (through no fault of their own, are unaware that we are cool with boobs in Ontario! I propose The Million And One Boob March. It’s an uneven number because not everyone has two; birth, sickness, or surgery can cause someone to have just one boob, or three, and that’s OK, This is about being proud of our boobs, and ourselves, no matter what we look like, or what gender we are, and feeling the sunshine and the wind and rain on our bodies and being free!…and realising that women everywhere have the right to go topless, and should if they wish. And guys have to realise that just because a girl has her top off it doesn’t mean she wants sex, or wants you to leer at her, or wants you to whistle, or yell stuff at her; be polite dammit!…that could be your sister or mom. Nipples outnumber people two to one, we have to learn to respect them as natural body parts, and not sexualize them in public. They should be celebrated not covered up!
The Million And One Boob March! The line starts below…